Announcing... Buzz!!!

There is something that has been on my mind lately. In fact, despite holidays and thesis writing, it's been the biggest thing on my mind. I have been hesitant to discuss it for reasons that will seem obvious in a minute, but I am feeling more comfortable now, and I'm (literally) bursting at the seems to share!

That little white ball of joy is the first picture of future baby Collins, whom we affectionately refer to as Buzz! (More on that later!) That ultrasound was on December 2, 2011and Buzz was 8 weeks and 2 days along. At that point, Buzz was still considered an embryo the size of a kidney bean, with webbed fingers and toes.

The coolest thing about the ultrasound was that we got to see the heart beat! It was this tiny little flutter on the screen and it was one of the most reassuring things I have ever seen in my life. See, something scary that most people don't realize is that miscarriages are pretty common. Frighteningly common, actually. According to What to Expect When You're Expecting, an estimated 40% of conceptions end in miscarriage, but a lot of them go undocumented because they happen early on, so the woman just assumes it was a late period. Miscarriages seem more prevalent now though, because at-home pregnancy tests can be used as early as a couple of days before your missed period, so women know they are pregnant sooner than ever before.

Finding out...
We found out super early as well- we decided to start trying in September, but October came and went and so did my period. I was a bit worried because it took my parents quite a while- years, actually- to get pregnant with me. We decided to give it another go, but not to try "too hard"... like, no counting days until ovulation or taking my temperature on a daily basis (turns out your basal body temperature is at it's lowest during ovulation and then it spikes after ovulation, so if you track this by taking your temperature first thing in the morning everyday, you should start to notice a pattern). Well, wouldn't you know it, November rolled around and my period was two days late. My period is NEVER late.

I decided to pick up a pregnancy test on my way home from work on November 3rd. I had never bought one before and had no idea what to look for, so I just picked one that didn't look too cheap, but didn't cost an arm and a leg either. I wouldn't say that I was in denial, but I would definitely say that I wasn't holding my breath at this point.

I got home, opened the package, read the directions, and peed on that baby. Then I had to wait 3 minutes. People always say those 3 minutes are the longest of your life. Not so much for me. I was trying not to get my hopes up. I went upstairs and changed my clothes. Played with Kevin for a minute. And then time was up.

When I looked at the stick, this is what I saw:

2 lines = preggo, 1 line = not

WTF does that mean?? Can you even see that second line?? It was so freaking faint, and I had no idea what it meant. Pregnant or not? Were our lives about to change forever, or remain the same for at least another month?

So the next 3 minutes, while I scrambled around on the internet, were the longest 3 minutes of my life! After reading about other women's similar stories and learning all about evaporation lines, it became clear that if the test is read within a timely manner- not hours later, any second line "counts." It doesn't matter how faint, if there is a second line in that stick, the pregnancy hormone is in your body and you have a bun in the oven.


Telling Brian...

Brian was still at work, so after I had done my research Google search, I did a little dance with Kevin. We think he knew before we did. The weekend before was Halloween, and that whole weekend we noticed he was really clingy with me. Like, we had friends over that Saturday night to watch scary movies and while he's usually a social butterfly, that night he cuddled up next to me and slept with his head on my belly the whole time. He's been doing the same thing ever since. We're pretty certain he is going to be a great big brother.

Since I was at home with the dog for about an hour before Brian was due home that night, I was trying to think of a creative way to announce the news. One of his favorite shows is The Office, so back when we first started talking about getting pregnant, I wanted to get him a mug like Michael Scott's but have it say World's Best Dad.

Well, I hadn't planned that out far enough in advance, and I couldn't wait to tell him, so that wasn't happening. Instead, I found an old white shirt, grabbed some sharpies, wrote Big Brother on the back, and tossed it on the dog:

He kind of reminds me of a race horse. :)

Anyway, when Brian walked in the door, Kevin greeted him. It took Brian a minute to read the shirt, and then register what it said, but once it clicked, I was able to capture his reaction with my iphone:

Happy Dad-to-be!

More celebrating ensued!

But as you probably noticed, 2 days after a missed period is extremely early to be finding out... and I was nervous. So many things could go wrong and I was very paranoid. I called the next morning to make a doctors appointment. They had me come in the next Monday where I took another positive test, filled out some paperwork, and we were on our way!

Telling Everyone Else...
Telling other people has been tricky. I told my mom right away because we go to the gym every morning, and I wanted her to be aware in case something went wrong or she had any motherly advice. She was glad I told her, but also nervous about how early it was in the pregnancy. Brian told his mom and sister within that first week. Then we had to tell my friend Alexis because we were going on a cruise for her birthday. On the cruise, we had to tell our other friends Erin and Jordan, because it's kind of suspicious when you're on a cruise, but you won't drink, you won't go into the jacuzzi, and you're not able to eat much of the all-you-can-eat food that's being offered.

We decided to tell the dads once we got back from the trip. Brian got his dad an "I love my grandpa" bib and I got my dad a Dodgers bib (as an inside joke- I hate the Dodgers but he loves them and has always said that when he babysits for me, my kids will be dressed in Dodger gear when I come to pick them up). We gave them these gifts under the pretense that they were souvenirs from the cruise. They were a little confused at first, but then my dad looks up at me and says, "Really??" It was cute and all of the grandparents are officially excited. Slowly, word is getting out. Soon, we told my brother and his girlfriend. We had to tell our friend Mike because I would no longer be playing football. We told some family members at Thanksgiving. Then we told Kevin and Rachael. Then I had to tell the ladies in my office because there was some bug spraying and bleaching going on that I just didn't want to be around. Oh and most recently, I told some of my softball girls so they could help me out a little more in class with the physical stuff.
Telling Work...
We have yet to make an official announcement. Like, nothing on Facebook. I haven't told work yet. As of today, It's only been 10 weeks and 4 days, so it's still relatively early on. I'm planning on telling work when I get back from winter break, just to keep it simple. Plus by then, I'll officially be going into my 2nd trimester, where the risks of miscarriage drop significantly (yes, I'm still very nervous/paranoid about it). And I'll put it out there on Facebook after work knows. Because, ya know, nothing is actually official until it's on Facebook. With that being said, if you're one of my Facebook friends and you're reading this, I'm thrilled that you're here, but please, please don't say anything on there just yet. ThankyouIloveyou!

How I'm feeling...
So far, I feel like I'm pretty lucky, because compared to some of the horror stories I've read, this pregnancy has seemed relatively easy. I have felt a little nauseous from time to time, but I haven't actually thrown up. I can't eat as much as usual and I've only gained like 0-1.5 pounds, but that varies depending on the day. What's funny about that though, is that I feel extremely bloated and it is really uncomfortable to wear my jeans. I've been living in sweats, jeggings, and dresses. I'm t-i-r-e-d and I keep falling asleep on the couch before 7:30. And I'm occasionally crabby- Brian gets the brunt of that, but he's taking it like a champ. I love him so much.

I get a little bit bummed sometimes because I can't do much of what I did before- namely playing football and softball. Those are actually the 2 contact sports that I found listed in the "activites you should not participate in" list. I would love to be able to go sit in the jacuzzi for a little bit, but that's a no-no. I also have been staying away from deli meat, sushi, coffee and (mostly) diet coke. Definitely staying away from alcohol, but that's never been an issue for me.

It's not all woe-is-me though. I've still been having a lot of fun:

We went on a cruise for Alexis' b-day

Vegas for Brian's b-day

Disneyland- just for fun!

Each experience was different than it would have been had I not been pregnant, but each was still fun and I am THRILLED, so the happiness we're feeling far outweighs missing out on Space Mountain or Margaritaville.
We've been taking weekly pictures. Here they are so far:

I'm maybe a little bit bigger, but I've always had a little tummy pooch, so nothing too exciting there yet. Buzz is growing though- this week, he is the size of a kumquat.

Brian thinks that's still pretty small, but seeing as it's growing inside of me I happen to think it's pretty big. This week, Buzz graduated from an embryo to a fetus, no more webbing in the phalanges, teeth are forming, arms are moving (but I won't be able to feel it til month four or five), and the features are started to look more human and less alien! Oh and my uterus began as the size of a small pear and is now the size of a grapefruit. No wonder the jeans are feeling tight.

Why Buzz?...
So if you've read this far and haven't yet thought to yourself, 'WTF are they calling this poor fetus Buzz?' then I am impressed, and you should reward yourself. Because it does seem pretty silly. Well, here's the story behind the name...

A while ago- it might have even been before the wedding- we were on a long drive and just happened to start talking about baby names and how silly some most of them are now. I joked that dogs have more normal human names (hel-lo, Kevin!) and that babies have silly dog names. I told Brian we need to come up with some goofy names when we have kids. Light bulb moment!!!- I announced we should name our kids after Disney characters and I asked Brian who his favorite character is. He answered Buzz Lightyear. I screamed out in joy, "Buzz Collins!!! That is the best name ever!!!" Brian strongly disagreed, claiming it sounded like a white trash name. Ever since, it has been a long running joke that we are going to name our baby Buzz. Well, I joke. Brian does not think it's funny at all. Once we found out we were pregnant, I started calling this baby Buzz whenever I would refer to it to Brian. In all honesty, I would never actually name my child Buzz, but in this case, until we know the sex and can actually pick a name, Buzz works. Brian has even warmed up to the nickname, so for now, Buzz it is! Many, many updates to follow!