The First Two Weeks

If the Friday Giuliana was born was one of the happiest days of my life, the Saturday after she arrived was one of the worst.

Because I would still be a magnesium-induced fall risk for 24 hours after giving birth, not only was I literally stuck in bed ALL DAY, but I couldn't go see my new born baby. They wouldn't let anyone wheel me to the NICU because of the way they were monitoring me. So bed rest it was, with an IV stick stuck in my right arm, a lab tech coming in every couple of hours to take blood from my left arm, a catheter, and a tv remote that didn't work. Oh yeah, and my baby shower was at 12:00 that day. 

Alexis came and visited me in the morning. Brian came by for a couple of hours before he made an appearance at the shower. Doctors kept coming in to inform me of G's status (it was always positive- she was just an uncoordinated eater at first, so she would forget breathe while she was eating). My parents came after the shower ended. Brian came back to spend time with me in the afternoon/evening. 

But the day was slow. I was in pain. I really wanted a shower- or at least be able to brush my teeth. And most of all, I wanted to see my baby.

Finally, after 11:30 pm, my nurse came in with good news- they were going to remove my IV and catheter, and I could get up immediately after.

As soon as I was able to, I jumped up wobbled to the shower and got cleaned up as best I could. Then I was able to make it to G's bedside for her midnight feeding. The nurse there fed her as I watched- they were still a little weary of how well she was able to eat. But as soon as she was finished, I was able to hold her and have some skin to skin time. 

It was bittersweet- I had already sent Brian home for the night so he could get some quality sleep- but I wished he was there with me. We still didn't have time for us to be our little family yet. I don't think he even got to hold her yet at this point. Even though I was thrilled to be holding my little love, it made me sad that Brian wasn't there with me.

*****

The next day (Sunday), they released me from the hospital, but told us that Giuliana wouldn't be able to go home until Wednesday at the earliest. Brian was visibly upset, but I look at it as optimistically as I could- it would give us time to get everything ready for her. To open our gifts from the shower and set up her nursery. To clean up the house and prepare Kevin a little bit more.

We went to visit her before we left and she was so sweet, and so small.

It wasn't until we were walking away that I cried for the first time. That was when it hit me that the little baby inside that hospital room was MY baby. OUR baby. And we were leaving her.

The rest of the day was spent with family- we went to my parents' house where we were also meeting up with Brian's family and Alexis, eat dinner, opened up G's gifts from the shower, and then we headed back to the hospital for her 9:00 feeding.

The next 3 days, we went to the hospital as often as we could- in between running errands and getting the house as ready as possible. Leaving Giuliana never got easier. Actually, each time felt more difficult and I think I cried more each time we had to leave. 

So hard to leave that sweet little face

Every time Brian and I have faced a challenge, we have been able to lean on each other. We balance each other emotionally and I am so thankful not only to have him in my life, but to have him as my best friend, my husband, and now the father to my child. He is an incredible man that is strong when I need him to be, but also not afraid to show emotions of his own. I love him so much.

My eyes are puffy from crying :(

*****

It is quite possible that Wednesday, June 13th might have been even better than G's actual birthday. I was feeling incredibly better, we were feeling more settled at home, and best of all, Giuliana was released from the hospital!

The nurse took this picture before we left the NICU

Her gestational age was 36 weeks exactly, her eating habits had vastly improved, and our family could finally all be together.

Strapped in for her first car ride

Giuliana came home just in time for Brian's first Father's Day! We did a little photo shoot and spent time with our families where everyone got to hold her and spend real quality time with her for the first time.

She is the sweetest baby. Even her little cry is sweet and it makes me smile. All of her little noises- grunts, sighs, cries- she even has this little laugh- they all make me happy. Happy that she's here, happy that she's healthy, and happy that she's home and in our arms where she belongs. 

She loves to cuddle and be held. She has this crazy spiky black hair- I'm still not sure where that came from! And I swear, her cheeks are the perfect size to be kissed! No question about it- we're in love!

As for me, I realize now how silly I was being before and how much I complained about such insignificant matters. Like, my weight and being forced to eat a more well-balanced diet. I've already lost weight- I'm 4 pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight, actually. I would go through it all over again (but hopefully the next time I'll have a bit of a healthier pregnancy- or at least a healthier end to my pregnancy). 

Time to wrap this up and go cuddle my little love.