Sorry Dad: Sterling Blue Master Bath Part 1 and A Disgusting Morning

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 My house has three bathrooms. THREE. It's a lot of maintenance, but it's perfect for those times when all 3 of me have to pee at the same time.

Actually, in all seriousness, it is nice now that Brian's here too. But they are a pain to keep up. And for me, cleaning not cleaning the bathroom is a vicious cycle...

You see, today I realized something that I guess I've always known, just never really thought about this clearly. Bathrooms gross me out. Like, make me want to gag and take a bleach shower. So I go way too long in between cleanings, making the build up of yuck worse, making me not want to clean even more. Do you see my dilemma?

This morning, I experienced the hat trick of detestable repulsiveness. It all began while I was painting bathroom #2. These are there stories. Duh-dunnnnnn. (Sorry, we've been watching Law and Order SVU on Netflix lately... that show gets in your head!)

1: I had my head hovering over, next to, and behind a toilet for what felt like hours. In reality, it was just long enough for me to paint around it, but still. Too long for me. I'm not a fan of my face being anywhere near a toilet. 

2: What is with the random hairs that stick to bathroom walls? I had to deal with several of these during my rendezvous with the paint brush today. I find these hairs particularly revolting because A) I know it's not mine, and that's gross enough. B) They're never in a normal place. For example, a level on the wall that would line up with any part of the body that hair grows on... They're always like, 2 feet above head level. How do they get up there?? There was one a couple of inches down from the ceiling. Unless Brian's having hair confetti parties in the bathroom without telling me, I just don't get it. Ugh. Gross.

3: Raw chicken is abhorrent. This has nothing to do with the bathroom. I was prepping dinner in between paint coats. I cut some up to put in the slow cooker my mom and dad got me for Christmas (thanks guys!) and it's just nasty. Besides the way it feels all slimy in my hand, it's also pretty gnarly to know you're holding the meat of a dead animal. But what gets me the most are the veins on raw chicken. Ew, ew, ew! It's enough to ruin my appetite. Good thing I had 6-8 hours to gain it back.

(Dinner was delicious, btw!)

Needless to say, by 10:00, my stomach was feeling a bit on the delicate side. But I managed to tough out my last wall painting project for the time being. I painted the master bathroom. There are bathrooms in each of the bedrooms which is a pretty awesome set up (when you don't have to clean them). Neither one of these bathrooms have been painted since I moved in- the only rooms in the house that we never touched. (Probably because no one ever sees them!)

I figured that since we're in our bathroom on a pretty regular basis, I should pretty it up a little bit and make it a more calm and relaxing place. Since I don't have the budget for a whirlpool tub, I figured a nice light blue color on the wall would be the next best thing and it must get done now.

I had a revelation today as I was thinking about this current Sorry Dad project. My dad's philosophy is the old adage, if a job is worth doing, it's worth doing right. I kinda feel more like if something's worth doing, just get it done so you can enjoy it. My dad is by the book. I'm more like, um, just go rent the movie. :) Can you tell I feel guilty? I was thinking about this as my paint brush approached this weird little dent-crack thing above the shower. Now my dad would have stopped, chipped away at it, puttied it, and then sanded it down. But I don't have the time patience for that, so I just painted right over it. My reasoning was that I've lived with it looking like that for this long. Besides it looks better with the paint than it did before the paint. And now I can sleep at night.

Speaking of the paint, I wanted a light blue, but I didn't want it to look icy. (Which I'm pretty sure doesn't make sense because blue is a cool color. I wanted a warm, light blue... I also want world peace and the skies to rain chocolate, but what can you do?) The color I went with is called Sterling Blue, and it has some gray undertones, which made it seem earthier to me. Clearly I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Here's what I started with:

Before

Vanna Kevin modeling for us

All taped off and ready to go, I started by getting the most awkward part done first. I'm not going to lie, what I did today required finesse, grace, and acrobatics. There were points in time where I was on my tippy toes on a step stool in the shower, which I highly do NOT recommend. Balance is key here, folks.

Good thing I have that enormous butt to catch me if I fall.

As I moved away from the corners of the tub, I had even less foot room to hold myself up on. I was standing on my toes on the track of the doors. It hurt. I was tempted to pull out my ballet slippers. Then my mind flashed to images of Black Swan which I just saw last week... there were too many mirrors in the bathroom to throw ballet slippers into the mix. No thanks. Oh yeah, and I don't own any...

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Side note: Did anyone see this movie?? I left the theater like, "What the hell just happened?" Natalie Portman is a-m-a-z-i-n-g, but I'm still not sure if I actually liked the movie. It definitely freaked me out though!

Anyway, back to the bathroom. Kevin has an affinity for the shower. As in, he likes to jump in it, rip up the non-slip mat (that I had to get for my accident-prone fiance), and drink whatever water he can find. He drinks every last drop. Like he's been lost in the Sahara for months and he's starting to see mirages. Eventually, he was in the way of my warm blue progress, so  I had to kick him out of my work space and put him in his waterfront penthouse suite with a park view. (I can sell New York too, where's my TV show??)

Not looking thrilled about being banned.

Did you notice the turquoise wall??? :)

He eventually got comfortable and started spying on the girls sunbathing next to the pool. That little perv.

Wouldn't you know it, I let him loose after I finished the first coat. and what was the first thing he did?

I've never seen him actually lay in the tub like that before. He was either really tired or really lazy. And you should know, there was no water coming out of that faucet. None. He's just crazy like that.

Also, to add to his repertoire and assist 4 out of 5 vets in assigning him a 'special dog' diagnosis, he managed to bump up against another wall of wet paint...

So between yesterday and today, he is the most patriotic dog you'll ever meet. I suppose it was my fault this time though... "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." Yeah, something like that...
;-)

This is what the bathroom currently looks like after 2 coats of paint:

So far, it definitely has more character. I still need to hang a shelf, towel rack, and some decorations, so stay tuned for the finished product!